I bought my wedding dress last summer. This was both before Kellen proposed (although I knew it was coming soon enough that when I saw a gorgeous dress being sold for much less than the original price tag, I couldn't pass it up) and before my metabolism finally gave out on me.
I've always had the sort of metabolism that made grown women, and actually most of my friends my age, roll their eyes in disgust. I could eat all I wanted, and I never had to worry about gaining a pound. If anything, I'd probably have to worry about what I could do to keep the pounds on. This was both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, I fit the contemporary beauty ideal pretty easily and flattering clothing was easy to come by. On the other, I developed a lot of bad eating and exercising habits. I might have been thin, but I wasn't healthy by any stretch of the imagination.
At some point in the spring or summer of last year, my metabolism slowed considerably. Whereas before I could eat a pound of cake and probably end up losing a pound, that pound now became 2 pounds. The numbers on the scales were a little higher every time I weighed myself. None of my pants zipped, and all of my dress shirts felt too tight around my arms. And, most worrying, my wedding dress got harder and harder to zip and snap closed.
I've spent the past few months stressing over the fact that I've been putting on weight, the fact that my wedding dress is just a hair too small. I started focusing on making healthier foods and eating at home, where I tend to have better portion control. I started trying to fit working out into my daily schedule. The weight gain has slowed, but I still haven't seen a big reversal.
The thing is...I'm still thin. And if it weren't for the fact that every time I think about my wedding dress, I also think OMG THE ZIPPER WON'T ZIP!!!, I probably wouldn't worry about it at all. The extra pounds, in my opinion, look nice. Sure I'd like to have a more toned back side and upper arms, but with the weight I'm at now, those things could easily happen without shedding any pounds. The constant focus on the scales just got to the point where it felt unhealthy.
So I bought a new wedding dress. One that fits the size that I am now and would be more flattering for my new body shape. I've always hated how brides-to-be struggle and fight to cram themselves into too-small wedding gowns, trying so desperately to meet a beauty standard that is, for most women, unrealistic and unhealthy. I have no desire to do that myself. So instead of torturing myself over trying to fit into a dress that's too small, even if it did fit a year ago, I'm just going to get one that fits me now.
I feel so much better. And after trying on the new dress, I feel really happy with my choice. I'm going to look great, and it's nice to feel great about my body just the way it is.
I'm going to keep cooking healthy foods, having a more well-rounded diet, and exercising. Those things also make me feel good. I'm just going to stop worrying about whether the healthier food and working out are having an effect on my waist line. It's not healthy, and it's just one more thing in my life that it is pretty pointless to stress out about...so why do it?
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